well, twenty pieces, i tried, but i just don't think we're right for each other.

it's not you - it's me.

i think it is an honorable pursuit, 

simplifying

moving focus.

but i'm hoping to do that

without the "rules"

the last couple of years have been ones

of learning who i am

what i like

being free

not to care what people think

to spend money, even.

before, i was afraid to.

but now, i have gone on this journey

of my heart becoming more whole

of discovering who i really am

who he made me to be

what delights me

what is not that important to me.

shopping is not that important to me

never has been.

but before, a part of my - i think, now - false identity

was "i hate shopping".

really, i just didn't like making decisions. 

seeing how i looked in things that didn't fit well.

now as my healing continues,

i am learning to see me and my desires as valid

and i don't have to hide.

that said,

i really enjoyed the journey to deciding not to join the club

i made it down to less than 50 pieces - maybe 40 

(there's like 8 in my sewing pile right now, waiting to see if they're salvageable)

and love that i love everything in my closet!

my favorite part, though, is that

our hangers all match now

it was a little painful

parting with some things

gifts were the hardest, and handmade ones

who knew that i had sentimental value attached to my clothes like that?

i feel lighter

and find myself with this new

"rid the excess" mentality

in most areas of life now

it's a little strange for me

has a little extra twist

since i am a mixed-media artist

that automatically entails that i collect.

i have bins of rusty stuff

and paper and fabric

and even clothes

waiting to be transformed

into something new and beautiful

i hope

so, i guess i just think

now is not the time 

for my heart

i am needing to engage

not detach

be so fully present

as i encounter

the color and texture 

of such a lovely world

and lovely creator

the weird part is

since i've been contemplating this

for so many months

i sort of still feel like i am doing it

joining you

but, while i have a much smaller wardrobe now

and often think about which pieces still "could go"

because they don't necessarily "go with" 

the other stuff

(i had all these caveats in mind: "oh, i need to go shopping before sunday - then it's 2012"... "no shopping, EXCEPT, that one weekend thrifting that my sister gifted me for christmas";
 or "i can't shop, but i can make new things out of what i have stored away", etc.

now i don't need them)

i think he's still taking me on this journey

toward freedom, 

away from shame

and into drinking deeply of beauty

in art, people, clothes, food, nature... 

much love,

jamie

ps. these not-so-subtle notes from kimmy in my christmas present of cute clothes in no way had any bearing on my decision ;)

pps. thank you, jason, for not letting me just "get on board" with this, but instead really seeking to discern where i am being invited... and for joining me in lightening the load, even on your side of the closet!

20/20: day 20! last day!

for the last day of my 20 pieces for 20 days, i wanted to do something special - like make a skirt into a belted minidress :) unfortunately we waited till dark to take these shots so you can't get a great idea of it, but it was a good one :) 

the outfit: skirt as dress, thrifted; belt, thrifted; cardigan, gift; leggings, ross; boots, thrifted; necklace, handmade 

i bought my first groupon (i know - what took me so long, right?)!! so we went on a date, ice skating at splash! in la mirada (kristi and joey hung out for a little while too :) we weren't too impressed with the tiny synthetic ice rink... but it was a fun night before christmas eve, and we ended up at The Bottle Room in uptown whittier! we've been trying to get there for months, and finally made it! and it was super-fun! great atmosphere & the waiters spoke a different language with all their knowledge about their wines & beers... but my favorite part was the Pink Lady salad i ordered. it had honeycomb on top! HONEYCOMB?? who knew you could even eat that?! i ordered a second helping of it - best extra 75 cents i've spent in my life ;) 

20/20: (non)day 19

i didn't get dressed today.
(note: i wrote this yesterday)

i wore pajamas ALL DAY. 

and a hat. 

i decided it was okay to skip one day, because i actually only wore 19 out of my 20 pieces this whole time. 

i had originally included those maroon pleated stretchy pants in my twenty pieces (see this post for reference), but never found a way to successfully style them with the rest of my pieces. so you're actually getting 19 pieces in 19 days instead of 20 ;) tomorrow is the final day (and then it's christmas eve!) and then i get to pull out my boxes of clothes that have been hiding these last three weeks, play, and decide about "twenty pieces" before the new year!

i didn't get dressed, but i DID cook :) i made pizza! all homemade (crust, sauce, etc) - and i'm gonna share my recipe with YOU! it's really a compilation of three recipes: Crust (my childhood best friend's family recipe), Pesto (Joy of Cooking), and the rest of the toppings (Cooking Light)

i included this picture so i could talk about how much i HATE these pop cans! for no reason other than they startle me and it stresses me out ;) also, sometimes to make things easier/faster, i do just pop one of these open... but you'll see, my homemade crust is WAY better ;)

Newell family pizza dough recipe:
microwave 2 cups of water for 2 minutes. pour into large bowl and sprinkle 3 Tablespoons yeast on surface. add 1 egg, 1/4 cup oil (to make it healthier, Kim's mom used safflower oil in her recipe - i usually don't have any on hand, so use canola or whatever vegetable oil you have), 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, and 6 Tablespoons honey. whisk to combine. then add 6 1/2-7 cups flour (i have used both white and whole wheat flours in the past - both taste great!). you know it's the right consistency when it's tacky, but doesn't actually stick to your fingers. transfer to two oiled pizza pans and stretch to fit.

Pesto:
put in food processor and grind to a rough, slightly chunky paste:
2 cups fresh basil leaves
1/3 cup pine nuts
2 cloves garlic
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese 
(i actually used Romano this time because i forgot to buy parmesan - still good :)
then slowly pour in through feed tube with machine running:
1/2 cup olive oil
salt and pepper (i ALWAYS forget these)


spread evenly over dough, leaving a half to an inch around the edge.
this recipe makes enough for both pizzas (or make one and freeze the rest for next time! or use it tomorrow in some pasta - mmm i love pesto...) the first time i had pesto pizza was in Vernazza, Cinque Terre, Italy - and i made my own version a bunch of time after getting home. but once i found this Red Grape Chicken Pesto pizza recipe in Cooking light, i converted :)

Toppings:
add 1 1/2 cups seedless red grapes, halved, scattered across pesto.
top with 8 ounces shredded rotisserie chicken breast 
(i've measured this at about 1 1/2 breasts, if you don't have a scale).

top with 3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
4 ounces fresh mozzarella, thinly sliced

sprinkle 3 Tablespoons grated Romano cheese
and a little black pepper

bake in 475-degree oven for 12-15 minutes, or until crust is golden!

sprinkle with 1/4 cup sliced green onions (i also always forget this step, but i had to include a shot of it in my post because of the lovely ombre color effect - heck yeah - fashion and food crossover - that's right! ;)

for the record, if i WOULD have gotten dressed today, i would have probably tried combining number 10 (teal lacy anthro top) with number 18 (striped off-white/blue skirt) somehow, and added some leggings and boots ;)

20/20: day 18, it must be christmas

 our advent calendar task for the day was "wear red and green". this was tricky with my twenty pieces (i hadn't decided/started doing this when i made the tasks for the calendar...). i only had one green top in the mix, and i just wore it yesterday! so i searched frantically calmly through my accessories... and did it! this was one of those "being creative" days (those seem to happen more and more the further into the 20 days i get ;) and it was fun to come up with something totally different than i've worn before... i especially like the cutesy little flowers as a clip-on addition to the crocheted top - red and green, baby! merry christmas!!

the outfit: undertank, ?; crocheted top: anthro; flowers, handmade by Angelea and Teri Jo; pashmina scarf, gift; jeans, thrifted; shoes, thrifted; bag, vintage

 ps. i love this train i found this week. you will most certainly be seeing more shots with it. 

20/20: day 17, a walk in the park

the outfit: undertank: mossimo; yellow "dress" (at what point is it a "top" and not a "dress"? this one's on the verge...): anthro; green top, ross; belt, thrifted; leggings, thrifted; necklace, etsy, gift from a friend; shoes: thrifted.

 apparently this outfit makes me want to twirl... (unlike the last one, where i busted out what some might think could pass as hip-hop moves... stop laughing, jason).

so we went to the park for my daily 20/20 shots on tuesday, the whole family. little did we know, it was a special day at the park! huge lines of kids to sit on santa-on-the-train's lap, a couple of bounce houses, free christmas cookies and hot chocolate with marshmallows... and - here is the best part (i'm curious what people who live in... cooler climates... think of this) - a sledding hill! ha. a big pile of snow in the parking lot because it's still in the 60s in december in southern california :) as you can see, it was warm enough that i was walking around barefoot. as you can also see, this was the best moment of joey's young life. oh, that face! i could kiss it all day!

by the way, you're welcome for only posting twelve pictures today. out of the 166 we shot, i picked 26 as my favorites to edit, uploaded 18, and then cut it down to 12 just for you.

jane by design challenge (via adored austin)

my first ever iMovie! taken with my iPhone with no outside help... :)

i went to savers on monday, thinking i had a SuperSavers Club Card... apparently, i did not. after shopping, and trying on dozens of things, and getting to the register, i had to leave my items in a shopping cart (& hope they didn't put it back in the meantime - they didn't) and run home & apply for one online, bring in my printout, and get a card! jason's car wouldn't start so he came with me and dropped me off on his way to where he needed to be. so i was stuck at savers for another hour and a half... so i shopped more! and then got 50% off everything! :) the items in the video are just my $50 "haul" because of the Adored Austin thing, but i actually got more than that, and jason, too :) i heart savers. it's gonna be a hard thing to give up if i do the twenty pieces thing in the new year...

20/20: day 16: a gold belt

 the outfit: top, thrifted; blazer, thrifted (bet you never thought you'd see that again! ;); jeans, thrifted; yellow tights: anthro; belt, thrifted (isn't it great? it's the main reason i decided to post photos instead of drawings this time- i just couldn't render the shiny gold well :); boots, gift; necklace, handmade.

so, pretty much this whole outfit came from savers at some point over the last couple of years. yesterday, when i was bravely wearing this yellow blazer for the second time, i checked on my favorite style bloggers, and this one by jentine was up - all about thrifting blazers! i thought, i have found my tribe. and THEN, i went over to adored austin, and saw this challenge that she was doing/throwing out there. and i knew it was a 50% off everything day at Savers (for members, ahem), so i was already planning to go over there. but once i saw that post, i was, like, giddy, waiting for my sister to come sit at home while my boy napped so i could go shopping! oh, the unique ways God's designed us (that's code for "super quirky" says jason)... i shot some footage for my own video (which i've never done before, so i will be braving iMovie for the first time tonight to edit :) - which i'll post here once i finish!

 also, apparently, this outfit made me want to break out the crazy style dance moves. 

here's the progression:

 

and, yes, i am lying on the ground in the last picture because i fell. and i have a very painful bruise on my knee to prove it. but it wasn't when i was dancing. i tripped over a sled carrying a laundry basket, and ate it. jason was quick on his feet and thought to capture a moment of daily life ;)