24 weeks

looking at these shots, even i'm amazed at how much the belly has grown since 20 weeks! tuesday at the park, a little girl joey's age (2 1/2) was sure i had a ball in my shirt... her mom could NOT convince her otherwise. it was hilarious, and looking at some of these shots, i see her point ;)

the occasion: being 24 weeks pregnant - haha - seriously - i did not go ANYWHERE this day (which, of course, drove my son crazy ;)

the outfit: top, anthropologie; belt, thrifted; pants, thrifted; shoes, thrifted; bracelets, thrifted

and i've featured "What He Wore" on here before, with my 2-year-old... 

but i had to share this shot of my husband, and the story that went with it... 

so handsome!

so we were meeting some friends at Lucille's, and suddenly on the way, joey started looking sick. he had been fine all day, but was almost falling asleep and just looked generally miserable. then, as jason was carrying him through the parking lot, joey puked all over both of them! of course i had a change of clothes for him in his diaper bag, but not one for jason...
luckily, i had two bags of clothes in the back of the car that i was planning to take to buffalo exchange, so jason dug through them and found this awesome outfit (which was cleaned out of my brother-in-law's closet - who is a couple sizes smaller than my husband - the polo was XS ;)! i seriously LOVE it! not exactly "his style" though ;) so we (finally) got to eat dinner with our friends while joey slept peacefully between us on the restaurant bench seat... still not sure what was wrong with him, but he's fine now!

wasn't looking very happy here, (though, somehow still adorable...?) but after this, he fell asleep for the rest of the night... 

buffalo exchange

so maybe you all already know about the amazing place that is Buffalo Exchange. i had heard of it on like 4 out of 5 of my favorite fashion/style blogs, so i had to check it out. in case you are as in the dark as i was... this store is awesome! it's kind of like a thrift store, except that it's very carefully... uh, curated? they only put out on the rack what they think people will be buying right now (on trend, in season, unique, vintage, etc). 

the first time i walked through, i was like: "ooh, i love that! and that... and that..." 

so, i guess the main ways it's similar to a thrift store are

 *used clothing 

*fairly cheap prices (although they know their stuff, so if something's worth more, they'll charge more - don't go expecting to find that amazing vintage deal and feel like you're stealing it out from under their noses, like so often can happen at a regular thrift store)

but different in that

*they don't have a bunch of junk! (so if you're one of those people who can't handle going to a thrift store - or ross - because it just feels disorganized and chaotic and takes way too much work to find anything good, this is your place ;)

but the best part is: 

*they also BUY! you can take in what you've cleaned out of your closet, and they will sort through it and choose items they believe will sell, and that fit with the general vibe of the store, and give you 50% of their selling price (that's store credit - if you want straight cash, it's a little lower: i think 25-30%? but once you see this place, you'll want the store credit anyway!!)! 

they are pretty choosy, based on the above-mentioned qualities, and they post on their website specific items they're currently looking for... i took in two bags of cleaned-out clothes, and they bought two tops from me! but hey, i got $10.50 store credit, which i immediately spent $6.50 of on this little skirt (something i can actually wear while pregnant! yay!)

i love this shot! when joey saw it, however, he asked me "whose poop is that?" hahahaha

the Buffalo i went to is in old town fullerton, but they have them all over southern california and elsewhere (first time i heard of it was an austin, texas-based blog). 

so, you may have done the math and know that i still had $4 store credit burning a hole in my pocket... so less than a week after that first visit, jason and i headed to fullerton for a date night! 

after eating this amazing salad at Rutabegorz (my first time trying quinoa! i know - behind the times. first time at Buffalo Exchange and first time eating quinoa!?), 

we walked around, stopping at Buffalo Exchange, where we both shopped, and jason says he actually enjoyed it! 

although he's not planning on joining the tight cutoff shorts trend for guys anytime soon...

and here's me with my new skirt - in front of a super-cool-looking church also in fullerton!

so now you know.

20 weeks

well, we've made it halfway, folks...! and i am feeling SO much better (as long as i keep taking my magic medicine - almost zero nausea! if i don't take it, totally different story...)! so thankful for that. we somehow never started taking the monthly shots of my growing belly #2 like we did the first time around. we finally said we HAVE to at least do the halfway mark!! and i plan to wear this top every 4 weeks for the rest of the time so we can see the progression of the giant belly ;) i have already had people incredulous that i'm not due till september "seriously?!" same as it was with joey... then it was "are you SURE it's not twins??" people say the silliest things sometimes. i'm kinda glad i'm not one of those people who get offended easily by belly touches and all kinds of unsolicited comments about pregnancy, cause it happens a LOT. ha.

and now here is the outfit i wore last thursday. momentary lapse in judgment? (the wearing it all day? or the taking photos and posting them online for all the world to see? which is worse?? you decide...) well, i had a friend comment this day "you are so stinking cute!" so i decided it needed to be recorded for posterity.

 the occasion: bible study, april 26.2012. (haha - that was the most exciting outing of the day, so i guess that's what i dressed for ;)
the outfit: tops (all 3- i love layers, ok?), thrifted; belt, thrifted; pants, target; bracelet, indian gifted from my sister, originally bought on "trade as one", a website that connects westerners to fair trade merchandise; necklace, fernworks (and wedding rings that no longer fit puffy pregnant fingers)

and what he wore... this cracks me up - makes me think of those old images of people hiding nudity with barrels haha he is so funny (it's the chimney from the top of his cardboard playhouse)

what i wore yesterday

...and 3 1/2 months ago when we took these original photos that never got posted :) that was before i knew i was pregnant (though the post/pre-baby belly might indicate otherwise ;) it's much bigger now - see the last two pics of me for evidence. i am now halfway through my pregnancy, and we found out last week that it's a BOY! joey's going to have a little brother (and going to be such a good big brother :)

outfit: tank, thrifted; butterflies & pants, target; shoes, thrifted and altered; necklace, handmade from hardware and lace

my "style" while pregnant largely revolves around comfort. all things stretchy take precedence. so these pants & tank & flowy whatever-it-is are PERFECT for these last days before summer heat begins to hit socal! i'm curious to see how things will change post-baby again. currently i look at most of the clothes that i was loving this fall/winter (like this and this and this) and think NO WAY. i never plan to wear that again, simply because at this moment it either doesn't fit, or looks way too uncomfortable. looking through my closet yesterday, i became very tempted to clean out like 75% of it. but i resisted because i know i won't be pregnant forever (even though it feels like it with this lingering sickness!!), and some of those have been my favorite pieces in the past! however, in the process, i did discover that my 50 pieces from the beginning of the year has slowly crept up to 73 (due in part to bringing out the maternity clothes from hiding), but i only wear like 25% of it (hence the temptation to remove the other 75%). maybe i'll get rid of a few... or start wearing less outfits involving sweats being more creative in my wardrobe, even while pregnant. i find that i feel so much more like myself and alive and engaged when i keep being creative - in clothes, too - so maybe i will... maybe i will.

original occasion: hanging out in LA with my love, Jan.5.2012

yesterday's occasion: GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE. we went to chick-fil-a out of necessity (and because it's one of joey's favorite places ever). april.23.2012... 19 1/2 weeks pregnant

and this was the outfit my 2-year-old insisted on wearing - ha! he's gonna have his own "personal style" blog soon ;)

 ps... for those of you who saw me yesterday, and are thinking "that's not what she was wearing!", you are right. that's because i wrote this post last night and just couldn't get the photos to cooperate, so it's not getting posted till today. so don't think i would ever lie to you ;)

i'm here

i breathe in blogged beauty, and i am inspired.   

to write. to let my heart become available once again. be seen.    

loved or rejected, to be me. 

these last few months of silence have been… hard. so much sick, so much tired, so much feeling like i’ve lost my own self in trying to successfully nurture life within and take care of the gifts of man and son i’ve already been given. 

my man, he is wonderful… i call him on his lunch break to let him know how my day has been, and inevitably it sounds like “i’ve been sick, the boy is whiney and driving me crazy, and i can’t get off the couch, much less do the shopping and cooking and cleaning that needs to be done. i can’t even find the energy for a shower.” and his response is all love to my soul. “your job right now is to take care of that baby growing inside and our boy. are they fed? alive? then you’re doing a great job.” 

but they need more than i can give right now and the tears fall more often these days. and in the midst of feeling like i can’t (and should be able to) do it all, that old enemy shame creeps in unnoticed. if i notice, i can take a truth-stand. but it has so many years been the shape of my soul, to know the deeply-something-wrong-with-me feeling, that i so often don’t see it. i’ll notice a day or two (or month) later that i feel disconnected from people, God, life, my own heart. 

these past three months have just been so full of nausea and exhaustion that i rarely find a moment to even take stock, so it builds. 

until some miraculous moment that is God, even when i think it’s not.

like reading comments on a blog post for an hour yesterday that suddenly made me feel less alone. that i’m not crazy. that really engaging my heart with life is the way i can best love Jesus… not the “shoulds”.  even if that looks messy for now.

or what was supposed to be a “romantic comedy” being something else entirely to my heart, honing in on these painful messages of shame that continue to haunt me in the moments i am unaware and leave up no defense; ending up in sobbing tears while folding laundry afterwards, as i remember the woman who could not ask for help, and said to her sister “I’m sorry i make it impossible to love me”…

 or a beautiful post about somebody’s mama that makes me see that being the most me-ish i can be, free and unfettered, is not selfishness, but truly worship of the One who made me that way and delights.

so i come back to my blog, unsure. what it’s about, what it needs to be about, what my heart needs to say… how my words and images can be love to the One and to the ones who need him, too. to connect with the alone-feelers, the shame-fighters, the worshipers, the beauty-delighters, the artists, the recovering perfection-addicts…  

i guess my blog is going to remain a little undefined right now… art? beauty? style? God? maybe. but who i am, my heart experiencing life, really? yes, i think so.

el chubasco

 so i didn't exactly keep up with these "weekly" as intended... and apparently i've been waiting till i wear each outfit again to post about it (these shots were taken weeks ago now) - wore this last sunday...

the main reason, though, that i haven't been posting regularly is... i'm pregnant. and therefore, a) i have been feeling AWFUL and completely exhausted and can't find the energy to even sit and blog, and b) i wasn't allowed to talk about it for a few weeks after i knew, so it has been impossible to post!! i have a really hard time keeping secrets ;) but we finally made all our widespread announcements last week (the final one being facebook ;) so now i can tell you!

first thought about this blog & being pregnant was... 

good thing i didn't do twenty pieces!!! 

it'd be literally impossible to limit my wardrobe to that many pieces when my size and shape has already begun to dramatically change, and will do so drastically for the next 8 months...! 

 so, anyways... the outfit: vintage wool blazer, thrifted; top, thrifted; jeans, thrifted; shoes, TOMS, christmas gift from my husband - love. bracelets, thrifted; rings, inherited; necklace, handmade.

 erica thought i was cool brave for leaving the shoulder pads in this awesome blazer... the truth is: pure laziness. that, and jentine almost convinced me they were okay... but looking at the pictures i'm not so sure ;)

 now you know...

union station

 one of my sisters (who shall remain nameless ;) texted me yesterday: "I have no idea what's going on in your life cause you haven't blogged in so long! Lol" there are reasons for my long absences, some of which i've already mentioned here, and some of which i won't go into (yet ;). but it inspired me to post one of the shoots from LA earlier this month... this is the same outfit i wore to church sunday, too - but it looked way cooler at union station ;)

 the outfit: dress, ross; sheer top,  charlotte russe (gift from the same sister as above ;); belt, thrifted; boots, thrifted; necklace, handmade; bracelets, handmade by becca & thrifted

 please ignore the hanging strap dangling so lov-e-ly there on my shoulder ;) 

those are no longer a part of this top as of sunday 

oh, how i love union station. from the first moment i walked through the door as a teenager, i couldn't help feeling small - i am standing in a building so grand, full of thousands of people going all different places, with all different lives... in an old-fashioned-feeling kind of way.

 funny story... so this couple is sitting near where we are shooting, and they look like they are just there because it's an awesome place to sit. not going anywhere... so the girl, after watching us for a minute, decides to take a guess at "what's happening here". and she very intuitively says "you make jewelry and have a website, and you're shooting photos to showcase them... and maybe the clothes, too" i told her about my blog, and how i did make my necklace. she said, "it's beautiful. list it for twice what you were planning to sell it for." funny how encouraging words from a random stranger can actually have an effect... makes me think more about interacting with people! (this shot, above, was me talking to her :)

 oh, and, Kristy, after looking at these shots, i realized... we were there at 10:50 ;) next time we're there at the same time, we should actually see each other ;)
also, this post wins for the most winky-face-emoticons ever in one blog post - 7. i don't even think i wink in real life...