i had my gallbladder taken out on tuesday. it has been a much bigger deal than i was expecting. they say "outpatient", and my expectations for recovery time immediately drop in half, at least. i asked the surgery coordinator about the recovery process, and she said i needed to have someone with me for 24 hours (while the general anesthesia effects wear off), and after that i'd be sore for a couple days...
yeah, not so much. i mean, she's right that the first 24 (ok, 48) hours were the worst. i couldn't eat - SO nauseous, couldn't rest because of the pain, definitely still groggy postop. "clear liquids at first, then lowfat & resume normal diet as tolerated." i couldn't even take a sip of juice, a bite of jello, or a lick of a popsicle!
gives me a lot more compassion for post-surgical patients (the main population i work with as a nurse)! being on the "other side" in general was a weird feeling. trusting the doctors and nurses, when you know full well the kinds of conversations and distractions that constantly happen in the course of a routine procedure... i was a little bit extra-wary going into this, knowing a fellow nurse who had the same surgery in the same place, and ended up in the ICU on a ventilator because of liver failure. MONTHS later, she was out and back to work. but i just had to trust that whatever happened, God knows and God loves. i was in good hands (and the surgeon that did my operation actually invented the “laparoscopic cholecystectomy”, along with some of the tools used to perform it, so i felt in especially capable human hands J)
i am so glad my mom was here (until this morning, when she flew back to hawai’i) – it was impossible to keep joey from running over and jumping onto me, my belly, up in my arms, without the loving help of Mima! and she cooked and cleaned, too, while i just sat around and looked at blogs & read & watched movies on Netflix.
all that to say, i definitely have one more good reason to eat healthier now! i’ve been “forced” to eat lowfat these first few days at least, and i’ve actually been enjoying it (except i need to get me some lowfat peanut butter – pretty sure i can’t live without peanut butter ;). here is my lunch today, thanks to dear friends who brought us a meal last night.
barbecued chicken with cowboy caviar on top
(i'm pretty sure the "cowboy caviar" - a sort of salsa with avocado, corn, and black beans added - was for the chips they also brought; but i was sticking with lowfat as much as possible, so i scooped it atop my chicken, and mmmm delicious!)
about wholeness…
i had been feeling a little lost these last few weeks. a crazy summer, full of people and places (i’m sure so many can relate), expectations and pressures, doubts and confusion about me, God, love…
this “time off” from any demands or expectations whatsoever have given me a chance to see how much i entrench myself in those responsibilities, at the expense of my own heart.
in the midst, it’s so hard to recognize.
you just think,
oh, i just have to get through THIS, and then things (i) will be back to “normal”.
Jason even tried to proactively send me off with time to meet with God and recover my heart…
and with everything going on, i was resistant to it, even feeling like it was one more pressure… but it was so not. it was wisdom. and his good heart toward me. wanting me to be open and free and loved.
it took taking a step back to see it. and i’m so glad i did.
thank you for this time. to reconnect with you, with my desires and passion and creativity and love. i feel so much more fully alive in this place.
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