a little honesty

my amazing apron...

 i love this apron. it's made from vintage fabrics, and so colorful and fun! i saw it at Luna Sol in Uptown Whittier, and couldn't pass it up. isn't it lovely? makes me want to cook just thinking about it!  also, this is probably the only time you'll see this handkerchief... also vintage - handed down to me by my mom :) i love how stuff cycles through like that. she was here a couple weeks ago, and was wearing a dress that i've seen her wear all my life, but suddenly this time i realized it was trendy! ha!

so i'm sorry all of my posts have been "fashion" lately... i had a lot of them to post (a month & a half overdue!) but the reason goes deeper. after my surgery, i had to eat super-lowfat, and i thought "hey, this is good! it's forcing me to eat how i want to be anyways!" but after a week or so of this, the doctor cleared me with the decree "no restrictions!". i took that and ran with it! nothing held back. all i'd been missing (for one week! how pathetic is that?? so many people go a lifetime with restrictions, and i can't go 2 weeks...?). i also couldn't exercise while i was recovering, and so it seemed to all "fall by the wayside". chick fil a? heck yes! i wasn't cooking while i was regaining my energy, and that all took a couple weeks.

so, all that to say, i feel like i'm getting back into the health groove. i went to the gym the last 2 days, and cooked today, and even ate an apple! ;) my heart is once again turning toward the desire to live whole and healthy and fully aware and alive.

it's funny how i don't (can't?) blog about this stuff until i've "made it past". like somehow admitting i failed is okay, but only if i've figured out a plan to get back on track. strive, strive, strive. reminds me of how i often treat God. when i am having a hard time in my relationship with him, i sometimes feel defensive, and only offer what i think he wants me to be, rather than where i'm actually at. until that magic moment where what i believe he wants, and who i truly am seem to coincide - THEN i can come to him with a truly open heart. but i was reminded today that he wants me. where i'm at. no matter what.